If I Could Plan Your Wedding…

“There were horses and a man on fire…” —Brick Tamland

Let’s just get this out of the way. Unless you want Imperial Stormtroopers guarding the entrance to your venue, the creature Gollum as your ring-bearer or a lightsaber duel instead of a first look, you probably don’t want me planning your wedding. (If any of that does appeal to you, hit me up and I’ll make you the greatest wedding video you’ve ever seen!)

Even so, it’s safe to say that I’ve been to a few weddings at this point and as such, I’ve been fortunate to be in a position to see what works and what doesn’t work. I’ve seen a mother-of-the-bride almost impale herself on a glass vase and DJs who started blasting music in the middle of the ceremony while also witnessing perfectly timed golden hour bridal shots along with heartfelt moments which weren’t forced or even scheduled.

In saying that, if I were to ever plan a wedding, here are a few things I would take into consideration.

In the words of Lando Calrissian, “Here goes nothing.”

Lighting

Girl, listen to me. Lighting is so crucial that I made it first on my list. You’ve been planning this day for months and have most likely spent four or even five-figures on this one day. Why have your wedding in a low-light setting?

I get it. We like that moody romantic evening kind of vibe. Who doesn’t?

Me. (Insert image of grumpy cat!)

As a videographer, there’s nothing worse than being unable to properly expose your subject due to low lighting. Now I say this as someone who has the proper equipment to be able to film in low light which is part of the reason I charge what I do. But for those brides who only want to spend a few hundred dollars on a videographer only to have your wedding in the dark, good luck with that.

My best advice for lighting is to tour your venue at the time of day you’re planning to have your ceremony and/or reception. This will give you a good indication as to what you can expect. Ask them to light it in a way they would for an event like yours. If you absolutely love the venue but it doesn’t have a great amount of light, make sure you let your videographer know this. They’ll be able to bring their own lighting so they can adequately film without compromising the quality of the video.

For outdoor weddings, be sure to check the time of day which the sun sets if you’re planning an evening wedding. Schedule the ceremony to finish so that there’s plenty of time afterwards to get outdoor shots with adequate lighting. Even better, time it to where we can got shots during golden hour. It’ll be worth it. I promise!

Walking Down the Aisle

This is it! You’re at the doorway and you’re ready to make the walk down the aisle just like you’ve dreamed about for so many years. The doors open and YOU’RE OFF!

You break into a near sprint as you race down the aisle and you make it to the alter in record time! World records shall fall!

Look, it’s not a race. I know you’re probably eager to get this show on the road after so much planning but here’s my advice: Make it a memory, not a race.

Take your time. Absorb and live in the moment. Let your groom see you and smile.

I’ve been to far too many weddings where the bridal party is just shy of running down the aisle. Why? I have no earthly idea. It doesn’t give the photographer and videographer enough time to get adjusted for the next couple who are about to start their 10-meter dash down the aisle and it ends up ruining a very special moment.

Walk, don’t run, to the alter.

First Dance

You’ve made it this far. The crowd is on their feet for the grand entrance. They cheer as you walk in—the newly pronounced Mr. and Mrs.—and it’s an awesome feeling for everyone in attendance.

Then you start your first dance. You wrap your arms around each other, wobble your hips from side to side and maybe even strike up a casual conversation. What fun.

That crowd who were once on their feet have now sat back down and are now checking to see if the selfies they took while you were walking down the aisle have received anymore likes on Facebook.

That sounds boring, doesn’t it? That’s because it is.

I’ve always been of the mindset that the ceremony is for the bride and the groom. That is your special time where all of the guests you’ve invited from all over get to witness the coming together of you and your significant other as you make the vows and tie the knot in holy matrimony. The ceremony is yours.

The reception, on the other hand, is for your guests! You want to make sure they’re not only well fed but also entertained. That all starts with the first dance.

I won’t go as far as to say it’s an insult to your guests because it isn’t. But getting out on the dance floor after all that buildup and anticipation only to do the ol’ hug n’ wobble won’t help you gain any friends, especially if your guests have been waiting.

However, there is a line I will draw in the sand. Striking up a conversation during your first dance does give off the impression that you’re bored. It basically tells your guests ‘I’m only doing this because tradition says I have to so just suffer for a little while longer and then you can eat.’ I honestly find it a bit disrespectful. No one wants to watch you wobble from side to side as you talk about something that could probably wait until later. That’s why planning a dance is so important.

I’m not saying you need to go full Dancing with the Stars or anything. What I am saying is that you and your significant other can easily buy a first dance video to choreograph some sort of dance to your favorite song that will cause guests to keep those phones out for the right reasons.

It’s so doable in fact, that my wife and I did the exact same thing 10 years ago for our wedding. Yes, me; The man with two left feet who moves with the graceful elegance of an ape. We cleared away the clutter from the living room of my one bedroom apartment in Independence, MO and we practiced until we had it down. Then, we blew the doors off on our wedding day and kept our guests on their feet.

If I can do it, there’s really no excuse for you not to. Not only does it entertain your guests, but it’s also an extremely satisfying experience on your wedding day. It also looks really good on video and in photos! So go on! Shake what your mama gave ya!

Be YOU

The best part of planning a wedding is making it your own. If there’s one thing you take away from this, it should be this: Don’t feel like you need to be bound to certain traditions. Do your thing!

Don’t like cake and want doughnuts instead? Make a doughnut tree!

Are you like me and consider yourself a connoisseur of fine pizza? Be sure to tip that delivery driver when they drop off 30 boxes at the venue!

Your wedding is like a Spotify playlist. We place songs in a certain order for certain occasions and then we let it rip. Each of those songs are unique because they speak to and about you. Shouldn’t your wedding be the same way? You do you and make your wedding your own.

In closing, this is honestly why people pay wedding planners or day-of coordinators and not videographers for this sort of thing. Above all, your wedding day should be a fun and joyous experience for all in attendance and that includes you! Weddings can seem difficult and it sometimes feels like you’re trying to herd cats but in the end, just have fun!

As always, please feel free to reach out to me at info@foundryweddingfilms.com if you’d like to discuss any details regarding your wedding or if you’d like anymore of my sage advice on wedding planning. I’m here all day!

God bless.